amphibi.us

i thought i’d drink to
the pros and cons of alcohol
but mostly the cons
and while i’m at it
here’s to me looking all tired and drawn
outside in the waiting room
just like you said
and here’s to all the other hostages of death
i sat with older than the National Geographics
we flicked through
and why not
here’s to my brand new sneakers
a dollar a week to keep out the rain
and before i forget
here’s to the quality
or lack thereof of this my one and only life
watching you count out ‘the good’
across a delicate, manicured hand
(and still you held your pen
my how we laughed !)
and here’s to abstinence
and ‘curious observing’
now chain smoking alone and opening one more
and here’s to Buk
and ten thousand suicides every night
each day a new beginning
and here’s to Richard Yates
disturbing the peace
or Hans Fallada and Robert Walser
and here’s to name dropping writers
after all reading was one of my only pleasures
and here’s to the ‘Beast’ or the Void
within, without and waiting
and here’s to Schopenhauer
and the interest we all pay Death in sleep
and here’s to affliction and pain
an expiation for the crime of birth
and yea
here’s to fucking psychs like you
with your latest empirical theories
and comfortable practice
and finally
here’s to why i rarely make it
past the third or fourth session
wasting at least three good drunks
for an hour of platitudes and mind games
non judgemental of course
anyway here’s to the drink
and the dumb, brute will to go on
i hear my children laughing
thirty miles ago

© Paul Harrison, 2010

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