08.28
I told her, “I think I have Assburgers.”
“Assburgers? what’s that?”
“it’s high functioning autism. I often feel that way,
that I am in my own little bubble and when I’m
talking to people I am not really conversing with them
but watching them speak. and there is a point where I
shut down and can’t say a word.”
“but you’re fine, completely normal…”
“I know,” I said, “but after a period of time,
if you put me in a social situation, I think I would go
nuts…”
“nuts?”
“yeah, nuts.”
“is that why you’re often alone and can’t survive
in a normal relationship?”
“I think so, or else I am difficult, selfish,
and self-absorbed?”
“but you don’t seem that way, I mean, you’re a really nice
guy, except you’re private.”
“well, like I said, if you put me in a room with ten people, for
a long period of time, I think I would go nuts and turn mean
and vulgar…”
“well, you’re either autistic or an asshole, and I don’t think
it’s the latter…”
“I have guilt problems as well.”
“guilt?”
“yeah, from ignoring people, and avoiding people so much,
I really like people, but need space from them.”
“have you ever sought help?”
“no…”
“maybe you should…“
“well, it’s not that difficult, I have managed this far and have adjusted so as my life is
somewhat fulfilling. I wish I could find someone who understands though.”
“I understand.”
“thank you.”
New poem up by Mike Meraz ; http://amphibi.us/all/talking-to-a-girl/
Well, I certainly did feel the ‘turning mean and vulgar’ part…this is hilariously honest. =D